


let us end this dance of death

by fzywood



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: Angst, Im so sorry??, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 05:45:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9705791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fzywood/pseuds/fzywood
Summary: “You could’ve been normal. You could’ve avoided all of this if.. if.. if you didn’t exist!”





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> Valentine's Day gift to my favorite aka Hannah!! Thank you for saying yes to my lame ass proposal but here's your gift (aka some of your favorite things; terrornuckel & angst but no happiness sadly) !! I hope you love it as much as I love you ^^

Ever since Brian was young, he knew he was different. He knew that he wasn’t a “normal” kid. No, he wasn’t “normal” in the weird way but he wasn’t normal in the having superpowers way. His parents were always supportive of him and when he had come of age, he was sent off to a special school for those with powers. There, he met his best friends and his soon to be super hero team.

 

The guys, Evan, Jon, and Brock, had all grown close but soon, Brian branched off and had grown especially close with Brock. Brock was a brunette, tall boy with simple yet enticing hazel eyes. He was friendly to everyone, and Brian meant everyone. There was not one bad bone in that boy’s bones and Brian had no idea how Brock could fight people when the brunette never harmed anything.

 

Then one day, before Brian could catch himself, he had realized that he had fallen for the brunette. The day that realization came, it hit him hard. It wasn’t a nice and warm feeling but one that left him feeling sick and scared for not just what the next step would be, but because he felt different. Was it weird to like the same gender? He knew that it wasn’t weird but the voices in his head had begun to disagree.

 

Maybe Brian confessing would stop the voices? Or was it better to just stay quiet? After long thinking and considering each of the consequences from both, he chose the latter. 

 

He regretted it. He regretted it  _ so much. _

 

////

 

It was night. It had been a long day, since they spent most of it rescuing the city from a strong enemy who had almost won but Brock,  _ of fucking course it was Brock _ , had come up with their day saving plan which had brought them to victory. Civilians had begun to surround him and the other three were surrounded by their own crowds of fans who were thanking them. Brian kept a fake smile the whole time, his heart aching at the sight of people getting too close to the brunette. Soon the group had excused themselves from the civilians and said that they had some more work to do, but if they ever needed them, they knew what to do.

 

As the guys passed through the city, Brian focused on the billboards that the city had hung up for the group. Most of them had all four but then there were some where it was just one of them. The three talked as Brian began to slow, basically coming to a complete stop, when he saw the one with him on it. He looked so normal. So perfect.

 

He wasn’t though.

 

He was in love with a guy for fucks sake how was that normal? He was supposed to be fawning over one of his fans, not his team mate. How could his billboard look so happy when he wasn’t? He felt his stomach drop as he kept looking at it and he just wanted to-

 

_ “Brian!” _ A voice called and he turned to see who was calling him. 

 

Once again, of course it was Brock.

 

“Yeah?” He asked, noticing that Evan and Jon were gone and that it was only him and Brock.

 

“You okay? You were spacing out bad there..” Brock looked at him with worry and Brian sighed deeply.

 

“Is it okay if I come back later?” Brian had asked while the sun had begun to set and Brock was hesitant but he nodded.

 

“Yeah, I’ll tell the other two. See you back at the base Brian.” Brock said, quickly rushing to the male to give him a hug before saying a quiet goodbye and scurrying away.

 

Brian didn’t know why but he started to feel tears fall down his cheeks. Maybe it was because of the hug and how much comfort he felt? Or maybe because he was realizing that he would only be a friend to Brock, nothing more. The tears rushed faster as his feelings changed from pity on himself to anger. He needed to get his anger out and he knew exactly where to go.

 

////

 

“You know,” Brian began as he leaned his head back against the cool wall, staring at the face in front of him. “I’m so tired of you. You make me so.. so.. sick and disappointed..” He felt the tears prickle at his eyes again as he stood up, feeling anger subtly start to boil through his blood. 

 

“You could’ve been normal. You could’ve avoided all of this if.. if.. if you didn’t exist!” Brian yelled as he raised his fist and brought it towards the billboard, hitting it right in the center, causing it to start crumbling into pieces.

 

He was far from normal. Even if he didn’t have the powers. He also wasn’t okay, but he couldn’t let the three know that.

 

Faking a smile just like how he did earlier, he made his way down from the roof where the billboard had once stood and he made his way back to the base, ignoring their concerned gazes and how thick the awkwardness was. 


End file.
